Conflict in Universal City Coverage Continues

CLASSY! I think Jimmy Kimmel is going to become #2 out of all of this.

Oh Noes!

I hope this isn't true. But then this happened. And I'm like and she's like. OMG!

Fucking With Your Stories: NBC Changes Schedule

In the wake of the conflict in Late Night Programing-istan, NBC has announced its stop gap for the post Winter Olympic schedule. To know surprise, they are shoving in a bunch of Dateline and Law & Order as they have over the last twenty years or so. Added to that is the Jerry Seinfeld produced reality show, The Marriage Ref. Unfortunately, it doesn't involve Denis Leary going to people's homes and pistol whipping them into submission. Also, Friday Night Lights will be coming on in April for those of us who don't have Directv. For the people who do who watch the show, chances are this will not mean an actual comeback since you've seen them already and therefore you aren't watching it again. The I-forgot-this-even-got-picked-up Parenthood will also make its debut. I hear it's good despite the fact that this is the 2nd time around for this show based on the Ron Howard movie. Lastly, there's a reality show called Who Do You Think You Are where from what I gather from the title is a companion piece to The Marriage Ref. In all, NBC will hobble its way across the finish line in May with the hopes and dreams that the 2010-2011 season will be a much better year.

Because It's On: Thursday

Shit I'm TiVoing

Community: It's not The Soup, but I'm pretending it is.

Parks and Recreation: Following the same premise as The Office, your shitty life is now a documentary people laugh at.

30 Rock followed by 30 Rock: Not to be outdone, PBS is following The 3 Tenors with The 3 Tenors.

Fringe: Again? Is this show getting canceled? Is it because they pulled a fast one on us earlier this week by running a lost episode? Will the Dynamic Duo get out of this jam? Stay tuned at this Bat-time, on this Bat-channel.

Archer followed by Archer: A new animated series by what looks like the same guys who brought you Frisky Dingo. I hope this is better than the preview they showed month's ago. Wait, I see a theme going here. Welcome to Doublemint Thursday. Two! Two! Two shows in one!
Shit YOU'RE TiVoing

Ace of Cakes: A customer complains about how there's no cake in the cake Duff and the gang make them. "IT'S JUST FONDANT AND WOOD!!! MY DAUGHTER GOT A SPLINTER IN HER MOUTH!!!" To their credit, the cake still looked awesome.

Modern Marvels: My plea to have Huell Howser host this show is denied again. Come on! That guy gets excited at tube socks and dirt.

CSI: This show is essentially unkillable in a Matlock kind of way. It will only end when they get tired of it. But you're watching it anyway.

The Mentalist: He blows your mind with his flesh colored hair.

Bones: You grew up watching Angel, so it makes sense.

Project Runway: Between Haiti, Conan and Jay, you probably forgot it was on. You're welcome.

Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice: I'm a guy. You're a girl. I get it.

American Chopper: It's still on.

Just Shit

Jersey Shore: Being Italian, I don't find this offensive. Being moderately intelligent, I find this annoying.

TNA Wrestling: Only because it's false advertising.

Jay Leno Does Dallas and Real(ly Dumb) Housewives of Orange County round out this category.

Review: Tosh.0 (1/13/10)

There are plenty of reasons to hate this show. Daniel Tosh is acerbic to a point of being cruel from time to time. His clips aren't always all that current and if he were just reposting it on the internet, fat guys with bad breath and Cheeto-stained fingers would be there to condemn in the span it takes for NBC to come up with another bad decision. On the other hand, Tosh's acerbic wit makes the show fucking hilarious, too. He is the guy you know that would track down the retard that commented "FIRST" in every post and put him in a sleeper hold and let him fall face first on to his on piss-stained front stoop. Yeah, I said "him." You know why? Women are slightly less retarded than men. They don't like your Bevisness. Just fuckin' stop. You are not hitting anything.

What I also love about the show is that it counterbalances the hating with its web redemption portion. Sure, it's still all done for yucks, but it does show that Daniel has some sincere love for the pure ridiculousness of it all. This week, he took David after Dentist and got revenge on David's dad for videoing and posting David tripping his balls off after dental surgery. Serves his dad fucking right, too. How are you ever going to keep trust with your kid if you're willing to fuck him over that publicly? If it was Star Wars Kid's dad that had posted his feats of fury and not some cruel kids at school, would you think SWK would be alive? How annoying is it when people shorten people to just initials? HFC! WTF LOLZ THUNDRCAZHO! (Sorry, I really need to stop doing whip-its at work.)

Where was I? Oh yeah, the show was fucking funny and definitely earned its $340 market share increase. (Though I do not need to see The Blob. (VERY, VERY NSFW))

Overall Grade: On a scale of Aleve to Oxycontin mixed with Dilaudid, this show gets a Darvocet during the day and a Percocet at night.

Tosh.0
David After 'David After Dentist'
www.comedycentral.com
Web Redemption 2 Girls, 1 Cup Reaction Demi Moore Picture

Stupidity in Overdrive

Usually you have to wait for Jerry Lewis to get into his 30th hour before you get something as insensitive as this, but hey, leave it to the guy who didn't show up at Sulu's wedding.

Review: How I Hooked Up With Your Moms "Girls vs. Suits" (100th Episode)

100th episode fanfares are usually impressively huge and quite often fall short of their own hype. Can you blame them? The Marketing Department wants to pimp you out as hard and long as they can. The fact that you made it to 100 episodes as an achievement alone considering most shows that even manage to get their pilots picked up, fail in their first year. It's kind of like when you try to have a baby. If you actually work at it, you realize it's pretty hard stuff. Sex becomes difficult. You both start doing all sorts of strange things which previously sounded like interesting positions but now seem just as viable as a hiccup cure. In the end, you start getting irate at how all these women are just magically getting pregnant purely by sitting on top of a washing machine while you and your partner have to drop tons of cash down a well for just the possibility of having a kid. How I Met Your Mother is one of those shows that manages the get it right from the start and I think maybe because now the people who are writing these shows are my age. I'm pretty sure most of the jokes seem paltry to people younger than me and people older than me don't get the childish humor of the Manchild Generation. And despite being broke as a joke, other people my age buy shit. Lots of shit. Shit on top of shit. We buy gaming consoles and cars. We buy action figures and houses. We know what a game rocker and a hutch are. We actually saw "Over the Top" in theaters or on VHS cassettes from our local video store which also had an adult section behind a curtain. We grew up with tape decks in our car that would eat our favorite tape and be forced to either listen to the radio or the cassingle we had purchased in 1987. We know the term "cassingle." Shit, I'm old.

Anyway, the show was okay. There's this hyped up musical number that was previewed by CBS which if you watched the show, you had to wait for it...because it was at the end of the show. Rachel Bilsson is a story for another day, but she was neither good nor bad. She was there and thankfully she is not the mother, but you know that because if you watch or care about the series, you know it's how the series will finally end. Did I ruin it for you? Because if you haven't figured that out let me get it all out...Harry defeats Voldamort. Vader is Luke's father. Bruce Willis is dead. Soylent Green is made from people. Oh and Tyler Durden is a personality to unnamed narrator comes up with because he can't handle his shitty life. There. Now that I made you cry, I will say that you can easily guess what's going to win based off of the title of this episode. Girls vs. Suits? I'm going with NPH with a big spread.

Overall Grade: On a scale of torn jacket a Homeless man found behind H&M in New York after someone's dog peed on it to a suit made of 24 Karat solid gold, I give it a jacket scored at the Barney's New York Clearance Sale held out at the airport.