An Open Letter to Steve MacPherson and the Creators of LOST

I have a great idea for a promo.

Make it a leak of the very last scene of the series finale of Lost a la last scene of the series finale of Arrested Development.

INT. STEVE MACPHERSON'S OFFICE - DAY - 2007

STEVE
THAT's the ending to the show? Are you kidding me?

DAMON, CARLTON, J.J.
Yeah, pretty much. We thought it was a good ending at the time.
STEVE
There's no way I could put this on the air. People will be sending us hate mail for years. They'll can me. You must be out of your (expletive) minds! (Pause.) What am I going to do?

DAMON
Well, Jay Leno's contract is almost up. You can put him in our time slot.

J.J.
Damon's got a good point. His show would be a hell of a lot cheaper than our show.

CARLTON
Or for that matter any show. You could put him on five days a week.

Long uncomfortable pause followed by laughter.

DAMON
I'm kidding.

CARLTON & J.J.
We're kidding.

STEVE
Now THAT's crazy. You'd have to be (another expletive) to even think of doing that. You know what? It's fine. By the time, it's over anyways, no one will even remember why they were watching it in the first place. Just promise me one thing.

DAMON, CARLTON, J.J.
What?

STEVE
Don't go to FOX.

DAMON
Sure.

CARLTON
I wasn't planning to.

Another uncomfortable pause.

J.J.
About that...

SMASH CUT TO LOST END LOGO

You can pay me later.

Let's Get Rancid: Spoilers for the final season of Lost

Here is a link to the spoilers listed on TV Squad. As a way to keep things awesome for you, I'm listing a bunch of things that are most likely NOT going to happen or don't say anything.

1. The dude who played Leno in that horrible The Late Shift was not listed as one of the people integral to this season.
2. The smoke monster is not really a black man and yes, you are a racist for thinking that.
3. Benjamin Linus will not find the Ark of the Covenant and have his face melted off, but 2 out of 5 people agree that would be cool.
4. Hurley will save the Dharma Initiative rec center with a break dancing contest.
5. There will be some motherfucking snakes on the motherfucking plane.
6. Kate will hook up with Bernard.
7. Sayid and Ilana will form the Wonder Twins. Form of Dental Surgical Tools!!! Shape of a gun!!!
8. Meanwhile, back at the Hall of Justice, Aquaman loses his shit and burns the motherfucker down.
9. Miles will be killed by a trap that Jigsaw set.
10. With the events never having happened on the island, Jack will end up having to become the patriarch of his family once his parents die.
11. Locke will be arrested for his involvement with Millennium group and their biological attack.
12. Charlie will succumb to the ring.
13. Boone is outed at a dinner with her alcoholic mom.
14. Walt is replaced with Kareem Abdul-Jabbar
15. Vincent the dog is really anti-Jacob

Okay, that's all I got right now.